Jeff Gannon just relaunched his blog, http://www.jeffgannon.com.

The Left was so scared of him, it had to take him down!

That man, he sure is a poet.

And he doesn't need any fancy Blog software for his blog, like the elite, well-funded left uses. He does just fine with HTML and Microsoft Frontpage.

And boy, he really lays into Old Media^©:

After all, I had “no journalistic credentials” despite the fact that I had written over 500 articles for Talon News over a two-year period. I must be a plant, because there simply cannot be a conservative journalist walking on the hallowed domain of the Fourth Estate built over an old swimming pool.

...

The Left is always celebrates about second chances, except when it comes to conservatives. The only exception to that rule is when a conservative goes over to the dark side, like David Brock did. I have received many emails exhorting me to betray my “handlers” and expose their plans, citing him as the example to follow.

So nah. naah nah nah.

Jeff Gannon reprinted over 500 White House press releases for Talon News which was almost ranked the 640,000th most popular Web site in the ENTIRE WORLD. And he did got in the White House briefing room two years ago because of these articles he's written in the last two years.

Other "journalists" take a story and put it in their own words, but there is no better way to inform people on the White House's position than to just copy and paste from their Web site. He is a journalist, OKAY. You is always celebrates second chances so its time to let this guy back into the White House and shut you're mouth.

1 Month down, 47 left to go.

A high-school junior was arrested for "terroristic threatening" after writing a traitorous short story about zombies.

"My story is based on fiction," said Poole, who faces a second-degree felony terrorist threatening charge. "It's a fake story. I made it up. I've been working on one of my short stories, (and) the short story they found was about zombies. Yes, it did say a high school. It was about a high school over ran by zombies."

Even so, police say the nature of the story makes it a felony. "Anytime you make any threat or possess matter involving a school or function it's a felony in the state of Kentucky," said Winchester Police detective Steven Caudill.

Don't worry, liberals. He won't be able to be executed, since the nature of the story makes him already dead.

Update: Fictional mass-murderer, Anthony Hopkins, is still at large. Kentucky state police consider him armed and extremely pretentious.

Here's an innovative solution.

Prosecutors alleged Wednesday that a well-known carpenter and former Christian school leader strangled his wife so he could pursue relationships with other women.

"It's very clear that ... divorce was not an option, that it was frowned upon by the Lord, he believed," Assistant Dist. Atty. Brandon Jones said. "This was the easier way out for him, rather than divorce." At the time of his wife's death, Martin K. "Marty" Miller, 46, was advertising himself on Internet dating sites and having an affair with a woman he'd met in an online adult chat room, according to testimony at Miller's preliminary hearing in District Court.

This guy went overboard. If you're a married man having sex with an unmarried or non-slave woman, it's debatable as to if you're even committing sin and you surely don't have to be stoned to death.

So, the terrorist organization, The ACLU, is now complaining that we're locking up eleven year-old children who are out to destroy America.

Children as young as 11 years old were held at Abu Ghraib, the Iraqi prison at the centre of the US prisoner abuse scandal, official documents reveal.
...
Her assertion was among documents obtained via legal action by the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU).
...
In one case, witness statements among the released documents allege that four drunken Americans took a 17-year-old female prisoner from her cell and forced her to expose her breasts and kissed her.

In another documented incident, troops are alleged to have smeared mud on the detained 17-year-old son of an Iraqi general and forced his father to watch him shiver in the cold.

Brig Gen Karpinski, who was in charge at Abu Ghraib from July to November 2003, said she often visited the prison's youngest inmates.

She said in her interview that she thought one boy "looked like he was eight years old".

"He told me he was almost 12," she said. "He told me his brother was there with him, but he really wanted to see his mother, could he please call his mother. He was crying."

She said the military began holding children and women at Abu Ghraib from mid-2003. She did not say what the youngsters had been locked up for.
...
In her interview, she said Maj Gen Walter Wodjakowski, then the second most senior army general in Iraq, told her in the summer of 2003 not to release more prisoners, even if they were innocent.

"I don't care if we're holding 15,000 innocent civilians," she said Maj Gen Wodjakowski told her. "We're winning the war."

In other news, Michael Jackson has just enlisted in.... oh, nevermind.

Terri Schiavo's case has been in litigation in Florida courts for the last seven years, through 19 different judges and six courts. The activist judges and pro-death doctors testifying in the case came to the conclusion that after only fifteen years with a liquified brain, her case was hopeless, and she should be allowed to die.

Thankfully, our Republican congress saw her picture, realized she could save their asses be saved, and came to her rescue. Senate Majority Leader and heart surgeon Bill Frist says she could get better! And he adopted and dissected homeless cats in his spare time and knows about more AIDS transmission than the rest of the medical community, so he should know what he's talking about here.

Come on, it doesn't take a brain surgeon to see that Terri Schiavo is alive. Thank god our legislative branch stepped up and nullified seven years worth of medical testimony and litigation. Hopefully we'll be able to do this every time activist state judiciaries don't make extreme right-wing rulings.

But I have one question that's been bugging me.

IS THIS HOSPICE AUSCWITZ?



CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT A HOSPICE WOULD JUST LET HER DIE?!

I have a lot more to say about this, but I'm headed out to Burger King to eat a cow or chicken or some animal with more cerebral activity than Terri Schiavo.

I haven't updated in a while, I know. I've been busy faxing Jeb Bush, asking him to kidnap Terri Schiavo. And when I'm not doing that, I'm attempting to summon the power of The Lord through my crucifix. If I concentrate hard enough, I should be able to wield his awesome power and enact his will my own damn self.

Democrats (I call them Deathocrats) are just going to let Terri Schiavo die! Her parents have even promised to water her three times a day, but no, Democrats are going to make her ascend to heaven and spend eternity in bliss and reattain physical perfection (including the restoration of her liquid brain)!

Time to storm the citadel!

Scott Heldreth, "veteran member" of Operation Rescue and convicted rapist, has garnered much press after his son was arrested for violent support of Terri Schiavo's feeding tube. Once again, that liberal media fails to note when sex offenders become good, upstanding Christians.

Do you think you could be so cheery and full of the Lord's Grace during your sex-offender mugshot?

In honor of the trials and rapes of this poor family, I'd like to dedicate this song about Terri Schiavo from a pre-pubescent punk band and their manager/songwriter/dad, Attila and the Huns.

Hidden Away (mp3)
By Attila and the Huns

I see you laying there on my TV screen
I hear the words but I don’t know what they mean
They say that you are not aware of anything
But any fool can see what’s really happening

The very ones who should be looking out for you
Have done their best to make sure no-one’s helping you
Your friends and family would save you If they could
But evil’s winning over good.

Terri Marie
How can it be?
We see you laugh and you cry
How could they want you to die?

Terri Marie
It’s as plain as can be
We all hope and we pray
That there will be a day
You’ll be able to tell
the story that’s hidden away

We know your days would go by much more happily
If you could only spend them with your family
There are people who could help you out there
But you were separated from the ones who care

There’s millions of us who have heard your cries
And we won’t give up till we stop the lies
We’ll stand up for you so you’re not alone
‘till you can stand up on your own…

How dare activist judges take it upon themselves to interpret the law and decide that we can kill the braindead but not juvenile criminals?

James Dobson, of Focus on the Family agrees:

But the aspect of it that concerns us the most is that all the great moral decisions in this country, whether it's the sanctity of life or the definition of marriage, or what we can do with the Ten Commandments, all of them are made by the courts. Our founding fathers intended that this would be a government of the people, by the people, for the people. But now the final arbiter of every significant moral issue comes down to unelected, unaccountable judges to the judiciary.

...

And there is, you know, almost a feeling of futility when it comes to the courts handing down decisions that contradict the will of the people.

You know, we saw it two weeks ago with regard to executing minors. Seventy percent of the people disagree with that. It doesn't matter what the people think and the -- neither the executive nor the legislature will step in.

Right on, but I can't find this seventy percent figure. CNN reports that 34% of Americans support killing minors. Likewise, 28% supported keeping Terri Schiavo on a feeding tube.

Now, there are 300 million Americans. 28% of that is 84 million. How much hubris does it take for one unelected official to make a judgement that 84 million people disagree with?

Isn't this a democracy? Didn't our founding fathers want us to be ruled by "the tyranny of the majority?"

At last, there is peace in the Holy City.

Unable to join forces to stop poverty, starvation, disease or war, Muslim, Christian and Jewish religious leaders in Jerusalem have banded together to join forces over the gravest of threats. Queers are preparing to celebrate their "Pride" in the Holy City.

[M]ajor leaders of the three faiths - Christianity, Judaism and Islam - are making a rare show of unity to try to stop the festival.

"They are creating a deep and terrible sorrow that is unbearable," Shlomo Amar, Israel's Sephardic chief rabbi said of Jerusalem's Open House, the LGBT center which is organizing the celebration.

"We can't permit anybody to come and make the Holy City dirty. This is very ugly and very nasty to have these people come to Jerusalem," Abdel Aziz Bukhari, a Sufi sheik, said.

"God destroyed those cities and everyone in them," said Muslim cleric Abdel-Salem Menasra. "I'm warning everybody, God will destroy Jerusalem together with the Jews, the Christians and the Muslims."

Man, I hope we get a new Pope right quick. We're going to need a super hero to prevent world destruction from a Jerusalem Circuit Party.

What a Hero

COLUMBIA, S.C. (AP) _ A South Carolina lawmaker has asked Rudy Giuliani to pay back all of a $100,000 fee he was given by a hospital group for a speech at a tsunami relief fund-raiser two months ago.

Giuliani donated $20,000 of the fee and kept the rest after the Feb. 9 event in Columbia.

The sponsor of the event, the South Carolina Hospital Association, said Giuliani gave back twice what they asked for and the group has no problem with him keeping the other $80,000.

But Rep. Tracy Edge, R-North Myrtle Beach, said he is upset because the speech was widely publicized as a charity event. "Nowhere was it disclosed that Mayor Giuliani was being paid for his appearance," said Edge, who wants the former New York mayor to repay the entire amount

Lawmakers In Fla. Back Public Use of Deadly Force

TALLAHASSEE, April 5 -- People in Florida will be allowed to kill in self-defense on the street without trying to flee under a new measure passed Tuesday that critics say will bring a Wild West mentality and innocent deaths.

The Florida House, citing the need to allow people to "stand their ground," voted 94 to 20 to codify and expand court rulings that allow people to use deadly force to protect themselves in their homes without first trying to escape.

The new bill goes further by allowing citizens to use deadly force in a public place if they have a reasonable belief they are in danger of death or great bodily harm. It applies to all means of force that may result in death, although the legislative debate focused on guns.

The "Stand Your Ground" bill passed the Senate last week, 39 to 0, and now goes to Gov. Jeb Bush (R), who indicated he will sign it.

"This is about meeting force with force," said Rep. Dennis Baxley (R-Ocala), the House sponsor. "If I'm attacked, I should not have to retreat."

Critics have few objections to allowing people to protect themselves from intruders in their homes but said the provision making it easier to use deadly force in public gives gun owners a license to kill. They added that the measure could lead to racially motivated killings and promote deadly escalations of arguments.

"For a House that talks about the culture of life, it's ironic that we would be devaluing life in this bill," Rep. Dan Gelber (D-Miami Beach) said. "That's exactly what we're doing."

I'm hoping the MinuteMen will form a Florida battalion and permanently deal with those threatening Cubans.

James Guckert, visionary pundit and brilliant sage, appeared on a National Press Club panel discussing "What is a Journalist?"

If you ask me, the National "Press" Club was more interested in asking if a male prostitute with atrocious grammar, a two day/$50 journalism certificate and a tendancy to plagerise was a journalist. Frickin' Liberal Elites.

Despite the hostile enviornment, Jim made brilliant points.

1. The press is so anti-bush that the administration was forced to pay Armstrong Williams "to get a fair hearing" on No Child Left Behind.
   
2. He brought the red-county map to demonstrate the point that despite Bush's win was only by 2%, that the country is actually 95% conservative. However his printer ran out of red ink, so all the counties were green.
   
3. He explained attributing a fake quote to Harry Reid. He meant to say "Harry Reid speaks AS IF there are soup lines." He just left out the small phrase "as if."

Watch the highlight video. It's great.

Finally, someone "pays homage" to the administration.

Entomologists Quentin Wheeler and Kelly B. Miller, who recently had the task of naming 65 newly discovered species of slime-mold beetles, named three species after the president, vice president and defense secretary.

The monikers: Agathidium bushi Miller and Wheeler, Agathidium cheneyi Miller and Wheeler, and Agathidium rumsfeldi Miller and Wheeler.

I keep trying to post about Tom DeLay but it just makes my server blue-screen.

Greed and corruption make the body wither.

Shit, it looks like I'm going to be forced to cut my vacation short too.

There're many a soul out there displeased with the Administration's handling of Hurricane Katrina.

People are angry that in early 2001, FEMA ranked the most catastrophic disasters facing the country to be a terrorist attack in New York City, a flood in New Orleans and an earthquake in San Francisco.

[In early 2001] the Federal Emergency Management Agency ranked the potential damage to New Orleans as among the three likeliest, most castastrophic disasters facing this country. The other two? A massive earthquake in San Francisco, and, almost prophetically, a terrorist attack on New York City.

People are complaining that Bush diverted flood engineers' funding to the war in Iraq.

Yet after 2003, the flow of federal dollars toward [the Southeast Louisiana Urban Flood Control Project] dropped to a trickle. The Corps never tried to hide the fact that the spending pressures of the war in Iraq, as well as homeland security -- coming at the same time as federal tax cuts -- was the reason for the strain. At least nine articles in the Times-Picayune from 2004 and 2005 specifically cite the cost of Iraq as a reason for the lack of hurricane- and flood-control dollars.
One project that a contractor had been racing to finish this summer: a bridge and levee job right at the 17th Street Canal, site of the main breach on Monday.
[...]
The Newhouse News Service article published Tuesday night observed, "The Louisiana congressional delegation urged Congress earlier this year to dedicate a stream of federal money to Louisiana's coast, only to be opposed by the White House. ... In its budget, the Bush administration proposed a significant reduction in funding for southeast Louisiana's chief hurricane protection project. Bush proposed $10.4 million, a sixth of what local officials say they need."

People are angry that when a Category 5 hurricane that the national weather service warned would cause "AT LEAST ONE HALF OF WELL CONSTRUCTED HOMES WILL HAVE ROOF AND WALL FAILURE." that no preparations were made to try and get people out of the path of certain death.

But look, that didn't happen!

And as far as not dealing with the aftermath... well, you can't have a contingency plan for everything.

September 11th was a wake-up call. We realized we needed to secure our airlines and airports.

Who would've thought a situation might arise in which massive amounts of people would need to be evacuated, given food, medical supplies and shelter?

Remember Terri Schiavo? Democrats were against food and water then.

They mocked us as we kicked and screamed and cried.

And she wasn't even Black.

And now they're flip-flopping.

- Al Gore arranged for his plane, personally evacuated victims while declining interviews.
- George Bush pulled Coast Guard and firemen off duty to be his backdrop as he finally pretended to give a shit on Friday, but his never-ending smirk betrayed him. Said photo-op halted delivery of three tons of food.


- Now Rep. John Conyers wants to exempt Katrina victims from brutal new bankruptcy laws.
- Senator Rick Santorum suggests fining Katrina victims for all the hassle.


- Rumsfeld is busy preparing a party for Operation Enduring/Iraqi Freedom.
- Cindy Sheehan and the Veterans for Peace stop their anti-war tour to take Camp Casey to Lousiana and start round-the-clock relief efforts. (also, they need help. send them supplies)


- Congressional Republicans wanted a $231M Bridge to an Alaskan Island with 50 residents
- Congressional Democrats wanted to fund FEMA and give the Army Engineers the $40M they requested for New Orleans' Levees.


- Howard Dean "has suspended political fundraising for now, directing all funds that come in to the relief effort, postponed the DNC fall meeting that was scheduled for this week, and granted leave to any staff member who wishes to aid in the relief effort."
- Speaker of the house Denny Hastert misses the vote for Katrina aid to attend a fundraiser. In fact, most Republican fundraisers are still in full gear.


- Hillary Clinton calls for an independent investigation
- George W. Bush vows to investigate himself.
- Tom DeLay cancels an investigation in the House.
- Hillary Clinton says fuck the fuck off.


What is their problem? You're either for life or you're against it.

More Katrina info.

1. Republican Leaders of both houses are under criminal investigation.
2. Senate Majority Leader and Medical Doctor Bill Frist, who collected stray cats and dissected them for extra practice, supports abstinence only education that teaches HIV is transmitted through tears and sweat.. When pressed, First admits "it would be difficult."
3. Bush appoints evangelical Christian Dr. David Hager to the FDA's panel on women's health. Although staunchly opposed to pre-marital sex and abortion, Hager would anally rape his sleeping wife after she suffered bouts of narcolepsy. Ms. Hager never complained, just took the large piles of money off the dresser the next morning. When these allegations finally surfaced, Hager, a gynecologist, claimed that he missed. Meanwhile, Dr. Hager has single-handedly blocked over-the-counter sales of the morning-after pill from being legal because of his strong, Christian values.
4. The President's nominee to head the E.P.A. tested pesticides on poor black babies.
5. The administration forces NASA to add the word "theory" to any publication referencing "The Big Bang."
6. "Philip Cooney, a former top oil lobbyist now serving as chief of staff for President Bush's Council on Environmental Quality, edited scientific government reports on climate change to exaggerate the appearance of uncertainty and doubt"
7. Jack Abramoff
8. Republicans shoot down amendments to the bankruptcy bill that would prevent the elderly from losing their homes if they're forced into debt due to medical expenses.
9. A gay prostitute and drooling plagiarist idiot enters the White House daily under a pseudonym and uses the opportunity to inject lies and propaganda into the national discourse. The scandal lasts only a few days.
10. House Rules Committee Chairman David Drier won't say if he's heterosexual, isn't married, lives with his male chief-of staff whom he pays $156,600 a year and has a perfect record voting for anti-gay legislation.
11. Republicans elect John Boehner to replace ethically-challenged Tom DeLay as House Majority reader. In 1995, John Boehner distributed "money from tobacco industry lobbyists on the House floor to members who had voted in favor of tobacco interests."
12. High ranking members of the Administration out an undercover CIA agent and in doing so also compromise Brewster-Jennings, an undercover operation working on neutralizing actual WMDs. The administration did this to enact revenge on the dude who said that Saddam really didn't seek uranium in Niger.
13. After 9/11, Bush removed the security clearance of 92 Senators. Karl Rove still has security clearance.
14. Republicans cut 40 billion dollars from the National Budget including 12.7 billion dollars from student loan programs and 11.2 Billion from Medicare and Medicaid "[A]ll of the cuts combined add up to little more than one-fifth of the already enacted tax cuts for the top 1 percent of the population." The next day, the Senate hands out another $70 billion in tax cuts.
15. Alberto Gonzales, now attorney general, wrote a series of memos saying torture does "not apply to the President's detention and interrogation of enemy combatants." and that "injury such as death, organ failure, or serious impairment of body functions [must happen] in order to constitute torture."
16. Deborah Majoras was put in charge of investigating gas price gouging for the FTC. Previously, she was a lawyer for Chevron-Texaco. She found no wrongdoing.
17. Alaska Rep. Don Young creates a $255 million bridge to a town of 50 people and another bridge to be named "Don Young's Way"
18. Dr. Andrew von Eschenbach is tapped by Bush to head the FDA. He's currently head of the National Cancer Institute, which funds researching of cancer drugs. While heading both, he'll be able to fund a drug's research and then be in charge of approving the same drug. Under Eschenbach, "the NCI changed the language [of its website] to indicate tests disproving the abortion/breast cancer link were `inconclusive."
19. We're down with using chemical weapons.
20. Congressional Republicans are down with creating new nuclear weapons and using them preemptively.
21. We're building a Robot Army.
22. Donald Rumsfeld still has a job.
23. Paul Wolfowitz was sent to run the World Bank
24. Paul Bremer, while viceroy of Iraq, fires the Iraqi army and sends them home with their guns, doesn't attempt to quell looting the results in the loss of much of Iraq's heritage, doesn't worry about restoring Iraqis' water or electricity and was in charge when 8.8 BILLION DOLLARS goes missing. President Bush awards him the "highest civilian honor," the Presidential Medal of Freedom.
25. Congress won't investigate the missing nine billion dollars of tax-payer money that could be improving the lives of millions of Iraqis out of fear Republicans might be involved
26. Former CIA Director George Tenet says the case for Saddam's WMD's was a "slam dunk." He also receives a Medal of Freedom.
27. After invading Iraq, our government appoints a comptroller who was previously convicted of fraud to handle the 82 billion dollars of reconstruction money. Funny story, besides giving millions to friends and buying his wife jewelery with the $600,000 he personally took, he uses Iraqi reconstruction money to pay off the restitution of his fraud conviction.
28. The newest Supreme Court Justice is a fan of shooting unarmed fifteen year-olds in the back of the head, not regulating machinegun sales, forcing women to notify their husbands before getting abortions, allowing racist hiring practices, strip-searching ten year old girls and removing the restrictions of safety and environmental laws from employers.
29. Representative Tom Tancredo (R-CO) says we should Nuke Mecca if another terrorist attack should happen on U.S. Soil
30. Chris Cox has a very, very long history of protecting corporations from investors and citizens. Bush appoints him to head the SEC.
31. The White House hires actors to play journalists and broadcast this propaganda on television stations throughout the country.
32. The White House pays at least three real nationally syndicated journalists to praise its policies.
33. DeLay and other Republicans prevent imposing immigration and minimum wage restrictions on Saipan, a U.S. territory. Saipan is home to sweatshops encased in barbed wire that engage in human trafficking and sex slavery. While attending a banquet in Saipan, Tom DeLay proclaimed "Even though I have only been here for 24 hours, I have witnessed the economic success of the Marianas [...] You are up against the forces of big labor and the radical left." He also called Saipan "a Free Market Success."
34. Senator Conrad Burns (R-MT), who had previously supported US oversight over Saipan, reverses his vote after receiving $5,000 from a client of Jack Abramoff.
35. Senate Intelligence Committee Chairman Pat Roberts blocks examination into Bush "cooking the books" on Iraq as Richard Clarke, Paul O'Neil and The Downing Street Memos claim, saying such an inquiry would be a "monumental waste of time."
36. Bill Frist Staffer Manuel Miranda steals documents and strategy memos off of Ted Kennedy's computer on a regular basis.
37. All Senate Democrats vote for an independent commission to look into the Katrina response, but Senate Republicans shoot them down, claiming they can just look into it themselves.
38. A Bush crony since 1980, Karen Hughes has been made an undersecretary of state responsible for improving America's image in the Middle East. While not knowing much of anything about the Middle East, she has been armed with flash cards with such tips as "Turkey is a Democracy." Turkey wasn't impressed. In Egypt last September she said "Terrorists, their policies force young people, other people's daughters and sons, to strap on bombs and blow themselves up." and "Many people around the world do not understand the important role that faith plays in Americans' lives. [...] [P]revious American presidents have also cited God, and that our constitution cites 'one nation under God'.""
39. Randall "Duke" Cunningham sits on the House Defense Appropriations subcommittee which doles out money to defense contractors. Micthell Wade, a defense contractor, purchases his house, put it on the market the next day and takes a $700,000 loss. Meanwhile, while Duke is in Washington he lives on a yacht owned by Mitchell Wade that is named the "Duke Stir."
40. Chairman of the House Judiciary Committee James Sensenbrenner, who wants to 'police the behavior' of judges, who negotiated the REAL ID Act in backroom meetings Democrats were barred from and just fucking rewrites an amendment a Democrat submitted to make it appear it helped sexual predators evade the law , throws a tantrum when Democrats question witnesses about Patriot Act abuses, gaveling the hearing to a close and storming out, shutting off lights and the Democrats' microphones. Sensenbrenner does encourage the Patriot Act be used in cases not related to terrorism.
41. A Federal Judge ruled on July 3rd that the Pentagon had to release the bad images from Abu Gharib. Seymour Hersh says "boys were sodomized with the cameras rolling, and the worst part is the soundtrack, of the boys shrieking." The Pentagon spent a month claiming it was PhotoShopping soldiers' identities out, then decided it was in American interests not to release the images. Federal Judges keep ruling that they need to be released and the Pentagon keeps stonewalling.
42. The President of the United States promises to veto a military spending bill if it contains language prohibiting the use of torture.
43. Diebold and Republicans see no need for verifiable voting. Diebold software stores election results as a single integer in a Microsoft Access Database.
44. "I believe it was titled 'Bin Laden Determined to Strike within the United States'"
45. My Pet Goat
46. John McCain's illegitimate black child.
47. Osama Bin Laden escapes in the mountains of Tora Bora while troops are diverted to Iraq.
48. "Brownie, you're doing a heckuva job."
49. Depending on who you talk to, the rectangular bulge on Bush's back during the presidential debate didn't exist, was a "poorly tailored suit" or a bulletproof vest.
50. The President of the United States calls his wife "Bushie," he call Karl Rove "Turd Blossom" and The President of Russia "Pootie-poot."

Only Karl Rove can bottom for a gay prostitute while outing an undercover CIA agent and still maintain his security clearance.

The Bush administration last year quietly rewrote the rules for allowing gays and lesbians to receive national-security clearances, drawing complaints from civil rights activists.

The Bush administration said security clearances cannot be denied "solely on the basis of the sexual orientation of the individual." But it removed language saying sexual orientation "may not be used as a basis for or a disqualifying factor in determining a person's eligibility for a security clearance."